Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
