Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
As shirtless as possible
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
