Small penises have feelings too.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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