Your tits are I can't wait for
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
