I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
