idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
