im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
