He is such a slut. More and more my type.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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