I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize