The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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