yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
