Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
