the condom got lost in my hair
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
