You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
