Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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