She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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