Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
