I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
