if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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