I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
