You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
