I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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