The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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