Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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