Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
