Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up under a house in Key West
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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