3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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