I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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