That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
