How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
