I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
