So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
