so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
