the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
