did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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