so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
did i just pee glitter
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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