"it" just moved
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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