apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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