he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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