idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize