Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm really busy with my period
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