I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
