when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
