Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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