Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
