Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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