i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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