i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
where are my eyebrows?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize