Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
