Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
