if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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