tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
