The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
