never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
