btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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