it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
