So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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