she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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