i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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