Your tits are I can't wait for
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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