therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
